all the actions are governed by her future like she must get up before everybody does, she has to cook well, she has to look good, she must learn to be a good housekeeper, she has to learn to take care of all family members etc etc. I remember my various actions getting chilly comments and taunts by my paternal grandmother like- Log kya kahenge ki ladki ko kuch sikhaya nahi, agle ghar me hamari naak kataeygi kya, ye sab lacchann sasuraal me nahi chalte, sacs choti pakad ke bahar nikal degi, tu ladki hai ladki, ladkiyoon ko ye sab kaam shobha nahi dete etc etc. One more thing which my grandma kept worrying for till she was alive was that my paa always helped my mom in her household chores even before going office and coming back as well. It bothered and ruffled her to death that why my paa helped my mom in works which were not his's. yes!!!!! Not his's means that she strategically drafted and allotted the works as per do's and don't's each to the specified member of both the sexes which she was hell bent to make followed at any cost. She would at times murmur in slow voice continuously as if talking to herself but my parents got to know that she was upset due to this reason only.She would even revolt by saying my paa" joroo ka Ghulaam". My paa tried to fit in all roles be it a good son to her mom, a good father to his kids and a good and caring husband to his beloved wife. My father would cut the vegetables if my mom cooked food, he would clean the kitchen slab if she washed utensils, he would dry and hang the clothes if she washed them, he would set the Almira if she ironed the clothes, he would make us ready when she prepared breakfast for the family, he would buy groceries, vegetables and all household necessities in advance so that mom doesn't face any difficulty in his absence.......such was my father.
i remember asking my paa the meaning of household once and the meaning he told me left the eternal imprints on my mind and my behavior. He told me a "house" is a place where we all live with each other and take extra care of each other to double strengthen the relationships in hand and "hold" is that its not the responsibility of one person only to hold the relationships from being scattered or disillusioned. both of the persons involved in the relationship must take initiative to build, nourish and replenish it to make it long lasting and happy for both of them to stay in. a place where no one feels suffocated or inferior to another or feels burdened all the time with household's works whereas the person is as free as a bachelor. Household is a joint responsibility to be done on collective shoulders so that the sharing and caring remains till eternity and all the persons involved in the relationship get positive vibes and remain happy within and the partners involved are content and vibrant. A household is where no on dominates the other and let the other person live his life too, where there is individual space to live, create and explore potentials and subsequent creative victories. He told me that its the society which makes rules about the pattern of behavior and imposes on individual people about their rights and duties but as aware individuals, we must differentiate between right and wrong and take relaxations as per our life because this is ultimately our life and whatever we do will reflect in our family relationships.
My paa also told me long emotional stories of his relatives which were disturbing, enriching and educating at the same time teaching you lessons of millennium which only experience would entitle you to. And i am sure we don't want to waste a life time for experiencing from something which many of couples have already gone through so lets sum up the collective thoughts i extracted from the stories::: :)
a) Primarily, you both came together to become a family and to have a household so the rights and responsibilities have to be divided equally. How is it possible that one partner has rights and responsibilities equally while the other is in loss with less rights but loads of responsibilities (For example the right to rest and enjoy, the right to have some free and me-time, the right to sit back and introspect, the right to have leisure time, the right to explore her creative sides etc etc)
b)Secondly, if you both are partners, so the workload should necessarily describe you as well....tabhi to honge na equal equal. And when you say PARTNERS....it should mean so.
c) Sharing the load off from your partner's fragile shoulders makes her regard you in high esteem and increases your respect in her eyes manifold which in turn; turns her focus back to your courtship days where you were equally caring and sharing<3 <3
d) Your partner would be re-leaved a bit from her monotonous duty of workload and would spare some time to enhance her own personality, long-buried hobbies or passions. And who doesn't want a beautiful skilled partner and a series of bewitching compliments free flowing from fussy relatives and jealous colleagues :)
e)Your mother-in-law or father-in-law may in the beginning behave like a stubborn fried chicken who just doesn't get under teeth but your constant efforts will certainly bring a fresh approach to their attitude. After all,who doesn't want to boast about the positive changes in their households.
f)The load will not remain load because if the work we are doing is relished while doing, it doesn't bother but we add a dimension of our personality in to it and the work done is perfect much ahead than our calibers and capabilities. And not to mention, you shine like a star.Who knows, a good work may attract a long due perk for you <3 <3 or push for partner to praise you whole heartedly letting go the cluttered thoughts and bring you renaissance of past hot and sweet love birds which you were.......... <3 <3
g) Sharing the work load means that you give equal importance to your partner physically, emotionally and caliber-wise as well so the chances of mood swings, depression, nagging and fighting, low self confidence, withdrawal symptoms are reduced to almost zero and happiness float around.
h) While doing work together,both the partners get to spend time with each other reliving good old days and talking their heart out. It may also increase some testosterone levels of your partner...<3 <3
i)If you both are spending a lot of time with each other and every partner is getting his personal space Then there is bound to be happiness around in the atmosphere. and remember the golden rule, if you are happy only then you can make others happy and vice versa.
j)If you are already sharing the load, do it straight from your heart, not out of compulsion. It shows on your face and in your deeds unless you are a great actor.
So guys, i am sure you all would be ready to go to expedition but only and only along with your soul partner.......though i cant wait to <3 <3