Some days before while working in kitchen, i heard my 3 year old daughter talking to someone loudly........i was taken aback because no one was at home. I immediately rushed to the room finding her talking to the wall; saying " Aap to meri kabhi baat sunte hi nahi ho, har waqt phone me lage rehte ho, itna hi pyaar tha mobile se to shaadi bhi isi se karni thi na". It was a jolt to me as i never expected her to catch and repeat my words which i spoke to my hubby day before yesterday in an argument. But why did she catch my words not anybody else's as we live in a joint family?????
Suddenly i remembered my mom telling me my childhood stories......like when i was a kid, i used to copy my mom like anything. It was a routine for me to do whatever my mom did....Like putting a big maroon bindi on my forehead after bath, getting my pony done as her and my mom even got me stitched a small Saree just because i wanted to put it on like her!!!!!!!!! Everyone in the house had a hearty laugh watching me in mini Saree <3 <3 .......comparing both of us,If i ponder back to analyze my reasons for being so, i could find a variety of them like maybe i was too eager to be like my mom or mom had something noticeably different or i was a mature child as compared to my age group. Or was something wrong with me......was i too different???? But growing up and watching and comparing the behavior of all kids my age was almost similar as most of them copied their moms in some way or the other. Its because the kids spend majority of time with their moms and develop a strong bonding and liking for them and love to copy them any given point of time because they observe them too keenly so they have a strong desire to copy them and behave like them. So it is rightly said that mother is the first and foremost teacher of the child and the most important too. A child sees and observes his mother like no one else. Mother's behavior influences the child the most due to lot of time spent with each other. So as a mother, i have to keep a check on my behavior in front of my kids as well. Its not only my duty as a mother but its my social obligation and national obligation as well because all the good things begin from home and a mother can definitely contribute in to making good human beings and respectful citizens of India who take pride in to being Indians. I had a long discussion with my mom as to what makes her a great mom and here's the extract as to what she told me:-
a)Great adapters:- kids are great actors and good at learning at new things easily so as a mother one should always try to speak truth however consequences so that the child follows you because at any cost he will.
b)Telling a lie no papa:- Tell your kids to never lie however harsh or bad the truth is because for hiding a single lie, they have to tell many a lies and always have to remember what lie they had told. But if they say truth, it always remain truth.
c)accept your mistakes:- acceptance is the key to make a lasting impression on your kids mind, acknowledge your mistakes if any you have committed.
d)Never tell your kids to make excuses to others on your behalf:- Some people are in the habit of telling their kids to tell lies or make excuses like momma is not at home etc. Please ensure you don't follow the format otherwise kids learn from experiences much faster.
e)Never lie over phone or texts:- some people lie over phone and texts just to avoid some work or extend their pleasure time.....next time, someone calls you up who you don't wish to answer, put your phone on silent or reject call with the busy message but plzzzzzzz dont lie.
f) No personal discussions:- dont discuss your couple issues in front of your kids unless you want them to confuse as to who's lier and who's not??? Its your life as a couple and should keep it within you <3 <3
g)No office discussions:- You should not discuss your official matters in front of your kids as bitching and abusing is the most sincere form of discussion behind someone who's criticized about.
h)Don't spoon-feed kids:- Never ever say anything negative about anyone who has not been good to you. It will hamper the child's individual decision making power as to who's honest and true n who's not. Never pre-condition their innocents hearts against something or someone.
i)Story time- It seems ages has gone by since bed time moral stories were a ritual in most of households now the kids are put to sleep early to adjust their school and self office timings.read high morale stories to your kids with a teaching in the end.
j)Confession time:- Confess your mistakes which you made as a child in front of your kids and tell them how your parents rewarded and praised you and how it helped you to grow as a good human being.
k)Let them learn difference:-Make sure your child differentiate between good and bad by citing examples of his surroundings and known people.
m)Let them explore:- Honesty has different meanings for different people, let your kids discover the path to their honesty, help them explore and let them grow on their own as individual identities not an extension of your own personalities.
Thanks a lot MOM for letting the new breed moms like me <3 <3 the secrets to make their kids truly honest <3 <3
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